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[underachievement]

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[underachievement]

[ x ]

You date a scumbag long enough, a lot of screwed up things start looking better than they used to.
Only reason I'm not pissed is I'd hear the sob stories either way.

[oorah]

[ he honestly forgets... but it's her whole thing, isn't it? he really does suck at this. ]

If you ever need me to make a guest appearance...

[ not to actually do anything, but he's pretty good at making people think he will. since whenever he shows up, carnage is just around the corner. ]

[underachievement]

[ her job? yeah. she knows his offer's all talk, yet when has she ever ignored an opportunity to put her foot down ]

The only time I 'need' you is by association, outside the office.
Once the assholes in my way figure out I don't kill, I'm gonna have to get creative, and I hate that.

[oorah]

[ something doesn't sink right with him. her phrasing maybe. he tries to shake it off. ]

A lot worse things than killing. But I suppose that's what you mean by 'creative.'

[underachievement]

[ like losing your whole family? haaa ]

I'm not a complete piece of shit. Some colorful phrasing usually does the trick.

[oorah]

So now I'm a piece of shit.

What's going on with you?

[underachievement]

I wasn't talking about you.

[ and she definitely doesn't want to talk about who she was talking about ]

Jesus, what'd you do?

[oorah]

Nothing

[ and for once that might actually be true ]

Stop deflecting

[underachievement]

Fine, let's get back to you puking your brains out to the radio
Whose scandal is getting exposed today?

[oorah]

It's not much of a scandal
I'll tell you my thing if you tell me yours

[underachievement]

What, the news? You know I have wi-fi too right?

[underachievement]

No cool superpower payoff either. I never gave him a cent and he still ripped me off.

[catholicisms]

You say that, but does the world really need any of the superpowers you could get from a can of Axe Bodyspray? This might be the only blessing of canned radioactive fraternity jock.

[oorah]

OK nevermind

Have fun intimidating scumbags

[underachievement]

[ jess will never admit to laughing out loud at that ]

I knew there was a reason I didn't bother with college.

[underachievement]

You too.

[oorah]

[ ugh!!!!! why does she have to make everything hard ]

Don't have any left to bother. That's why I'm bothering you

Not that you're a scumbag [ if frank castle were a different person there would be a smiley face here ]

[underachievement]

[ natural talent ]

Damn. And here I thought the only reason you haven't come for me is because I'd kick your ass.

[oorah]

Well yeah. There's that too.

[underachievement]

I always knew I'd like you better drunk but hungover is a surprise.

[oorah]

Mind decrypting that one for me?

[underachievement]

You're sweet when you're vomiting.
Malcolm's the same way.

[oorah]

You just like your men helpless

[underachievement]

Vulnerability is brave, people tell me that all the time.

[oorah]

Guess we're both cowards then.