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[underachievement]

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[underachievement]

[ x ]

You date a scumbag long enough, a lot of screwed up things start looking better than they used to.
Only reason I'm not pissed is I'd hear the sob stories either way.

[oorah]

[ he honestly forgets... but it's her whole thing, isn't it? he really does suck at this. ]

If you ever need me to make a guest appearance...

[ not to actually do anything, but he's pretty good at making people think he will. since whenever he shows up, carnage is just around the corner. ]

[underachievement]

[ her job? yeah. she knows his offer's all talk, yet when has she ever ignored an opportunity to put her foot down ]

The only time I 'need' you is by association, outside the office.
Once the assholes in my way figure out I don't kill, I'm gonna have to get creative, and I hate that.

[oorah]

[ something doesn't sink right with him. her phrasing maybe. he tries to shake it off. ]

A lot worse things than killing. But I suppose that's what you mean by 'creative.'

[underachievement]

[ like losing your whole family? haaa ]

I'm not a complete piece of shit. Some colorful phrasing usually does the trick.

[oorah]

So now I'm a piece of shit.

What's going on with you?

[underachievement]

No cool superpower payoff either. I never gave him a cent and he still ripped me off.

[catholicisms]

You say that, but does the world really need any of the superpowers you could get from a can of Axe Bodyspray? This might be the only blessing of canned radioactive fraternity jock.

[underachievement]

[ jess will never admit to laughing out loud at that ]

I knew there was a reason I didn't bother with college.

[catholicisms]

It wasn't all bad, though maybe I'm the wrong person to ask. You wouldn't have liked me in college, I spent all my time in the library.

( and the rest of it punching anyone who deserved it, but shh )

[underachievement]

What do you think I beat up nerds? [ just the pervy ones ]

[catholicisms]

Not unless they deserved it.

( god, he's like a mind reader... )

No, I was just especially insufferable. I know it must be a struggle for you to believe, knowing me now.

( you know, since he's already insufferable. )

midnight texts you I DONT NEED A MEME TO DO IT EITHER

[oorah]

[ he's been drinking with matt so blame him for this shit. seriously BLAME HIM. frank has nothing to do with it. ]

would you play poker with me red and elektra
hypothetically
malcolm could be our fifth

[underachievement]

Maybe if you pick a different fifth

[oorah]

i thought you liked him
how about your sister?

[underachievement]

I do. I like my sister even more.
Meaning she's off the table too.

[oorah]

fine
but you'd come?
to poker

[underachievement]

Sure I'll take Matt's money

[ double dates are so far outside this earthly realm as she experiences it, it hasn't entered into her mind ]

knocks down your door i'm here for valentines disasters

[deathblade]

[ Literally every suggestion Charles had made to surprise Jess with had been terrible. (It's Jake's own fault for not putting a moratorium on food options or hair-washing.) Consequently, Jake has a bag of candy hearts, a bottle of John B. Stetson (the twenty-dollarest bottle of whiskey in the shop) and a panic purchase of fuzzy plastic handcuffs that molted pink fluff all the way from Jess's front door to her desk like some kind of knock off rose petal trail.

At least, he got the good pizza. (Pizza and whiskey probably would have been fine.) One thing's gone right. ]

Surprise!

[ Which comes out more strained and less exuberant than Jake had intended. Though the second it's out of his mouth he thinks maybe he should have taken some precautions to not get his butt kicked directly through Jess's window if she didn't recognize him. ]

[underachievement]

[ x ]

[ She owes him the same courtesy whether or not she knows he's doing it too. Like appreciating his ass in a pair of half-decent jeans instead of his Carhartt's. ]

When I'm wasted. Which means I hate it.

[oorah]

Right.

[ when she's wasted. he bites into his lip as he watches coffee brew impatiently. he shouldn't say anything, usually calling attention to her sobriety would be an excuse for her to change it. he's learned to navigate every level of drunk jessica could be, but sober jess is still his favorite. she's meaner than tipsy jess, but makes a whole lot more sense than drunk jess; though she's less clingy than shitwrecked jess. they all have a place in his heart, honestly, but it's moments like these he's learned to appreciate for their rarity. ]

Should I leave room? [ yep he always has to ruin it, but it's a genuine ask. the whiskey is right next to the coffee, and usually it wouldn't even be a question. he's thinking of the first time she came here voluntarily, after him pulling a knife on her when she broke in the real first time. she carried a bottle in her purse and sat with him at his rickety little table. his heart is pounding for some reason as his mind cycles through the memory. frank pours his cup to the brim as always and waits for her verdict. ]

[underachievement]

[ He may be knocking down the ruinin' dominoes but she set them up, still edgy from the rawer words they dredged up for each other. Her gaze bores into his back, like she can read the lines between his shoulder blades to confirm if he's being passive aggressive or not. Maybe she shouldn't try so hard to keep him and Trish apart, if there's any chance they'll cancel each other out. ]

A little. [ She does her best impression of his tone: Dry, genuine and loaded. Like she was gonna quit drinking today? ]

[oorah]

[ not. at least, not on purpose if she finds any there. he even dumps in the alcohol for her into the penguin cup before covering it with too-hot coffee. he hands her the drink, no judgment to be found in his expression as he leans back against the counter after scooping his mug back up. he hugs it to his chest while he watches her. ]

Why do we do that? Play that game. [ aka torture each other. they've done it a few times and it always ends the same way, no matter who wins (or quits.) frank takes a shallow sip of the steaming liquid without ever taking his eyes off her face. ]

[underachievement]

[ Well, there goes her theory that she'd rather talk about anything other than her drinking solution. Jess takes her coffee and swirls it gently in hand, hissing softly when a droplet escapes and sears down the back of her hand. ]

We can stop. [ Which is by no means an answer and she certainly has one. Her reticence to be straightforward is kind of one in and of itself. Once her coffee has spun to a stop, she looks at Frank for his reaction. For all that she complains about their DIY shrinkage, she wonders, keeping her dread holstered, what would take its place. ]

[oorah]

[ he doesn't think he wants it to stop, he realizes suddenly, in the midst of another sip even as it sears his tastebuds and the roof of his mouth. ]

Do you want to?